Do periods hurt?
This really varies from woman to woman. It is quite usual to experience some pain in the first day or two as the uterus contracts. For some the period can be very light in blood loss and cause very little discomfort. For others it can be heavier in flow and cramps can be quite severe. Should you be experiencing a difficult time with your periods it is important to talk to someone about it and it may be necessary to see your GP for further support.
What are wet dreams?
Wet dreams are a normal part of male puberty. Whilst the body is not used to creating semen it sometimes spontaneously releases semen from the penis. If this happens it is during the night and it will not happen during the day.
I’m scared to have sex because I don’t like my body
Body image and intimate relationships
Regardless of how positive you feel about your body it is normal for it to take time to develop the trust needed to be intimate with someone else. Letting your partner know that you’re having some body image issues, so that they know to be even more sensitive than they might otherwise is a good starting place.
You can take whatever small steps you need to, only exposing yourself and sharing your body in ways you feel most comfortable first, so that you can build that trust. If that’s none right now, that’s totally okay: whatever time feels right for you is the right pace. Even people without body image issues often take time with this, and get more and more intimate with someone else in stages.
Feeling okay about your body with someone is only one part of feeling ready to have an intimate relationship together which may include sex.
Body image
Learning what you can and can’t change about your body and appearance is part of growing up. It can be hard to accept — whether you are a teen or grown up, but when people accept the way they look, they often feel happier. Wishing you were as thin as a model or built like an athlete, or wanting to be taller/shorter, have shapelier hips, bigger or smaller breasts, a 6-pack or larger penis are all thoughts that are a natural part of growing up.
Everybody’s body develops at different times and in different ways. It can be a confusing time. If you wish you could change the way you look, you might want to talk with your Mum, Dad, or a trusted adult about what is bothering you. You have the power to change some elements. If you are concerned about your weight visit your GP. You may find out that your weight is fine. If your doctor agrees that your weight could be healthier, s/he can suggest ways to help make that happen, such as eating more healthily and getting more exercise. If you are underweight that may also affect how you feel about yourself and you ability to be healthy and energetic. Adopting a healthy diet and pursuing activities is shown to improve your health, mood and overall well-being.
Many people who don’t like their bodies do so because they have bought into - many without realizing it, or even meaning to – consumer markets. Whether it is the diet, fashion or cosmetics industry they encourage you to buy products by making you question your own image. Instead question the beauty standards that you are measuring yourself against. Bear in mind that there is nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with any set of beauty standards, personal or cultural, which privileges any one way of looking, or any one kind of body or person.
“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” - Golda Meir
A lot of how we feel good about ourselves is because of how we feel about our WHOLE selves: in other words, who we are and what we do tends to have a lot to do with how we feel about our bodies and how we look. Eleanor Roosevelt said ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’
If your body image issues are profound they will affect you in many ways. You may want to consider some counseling or professional support so that these issues don’t stand in the way of your esteem and the enjoyment of your life.
....for JAT
